"Don't Drone Me, Bro!" : A Review of Oblivion

Science Fiction is making a comeback this decade.

I don't mean movies filled with aliens, space ships, and large explosions. Those are nice, but they fit more in the category of Sci-Fi. I mean films that focus on how technology, or scientific events, affect a person's character. Movies that use tone and timing instead of loud bangs and creature effects.

I'm referring to the movies that Oblivion tries so hard to be. Oblivion marks the stepping stone of better things to come in science fiction cinema. I say a stepping stone because Oblivion isn't necessarily great. It's not bad either, but something about it felt disappointing. I'll refer to this mystery effect as it's X-Factor. As much as I try to reimagine my experience in the theater, I can't explain why this movie wasn't great. Perhaps Joseph Kosinski was so lost in trying to get all the pieces that define classic science fiction into this movie, that he didn't leave any room for it to have it's own soul? Then again, maybe Tom Cruise just over acted the hell out of it? I can not say with certainty.

Most likely, it's due to the part my expectations played into the experience. I admit I went into this expecting typical Hollywood Sci-Fi. I may have even craved a little mindless space action, honestly. I wanted Tom Cruise one-liners fired off at mean looking aliens blowing up. While there is some action in this movie, it's not as much as I expected.

Illustration from the Graphic Novel

The movie does a great job of recreating the tone and mystery of a 70's Science Fiction film, like Blade Runner or 2001. The pacing here is much slower than I anticipated, which may be the big cause of my X-Factor experience. There's more plot to this than expected, with decent writing and human emotions being portrayed. While most of it is predictable, there was some nice emotional build up to Andrea Riseborough's declaration that "they are not an effective team". The cinematography is also gorgeous, much in tune with the graphic novel that inspired it.

Tom Cruise's performance is mostly spot on, if not maybe guilty of over acting a bit here or there. That's possibly the only real obvious complaint I have. Even the movie's "epic" conclusion highlights a Cruise monologue that, while well written, pulls the viewer out of the emotion of the moment. I'm sure it looked great on paper, but mixed with Cruise's taste for intensity it just doesn't flow right to me. Oh well ...


Again, I stress this movie is a big step in the right direction for science fiction cinema. 

Oblivion is a good movie, just not ... great?

Dr. Tongue's Evil House of Pancakes Presents Jurassic Park in 3D!!

1993 was an important year for my childhood. It was the first summer of my life where I got to go see movies in the theater on a regular basis. I saw The Fugitive, and The Man Without A Face. I was a little too young to appreciate those movies. I also saw Sidekicks and T.M.N.T. 3, the latter of which I cringe at the idea of watching again as an adult.

Yet none of those films would impact my life as much as the theater presentation of Jurassic Park did. To this day I still remember the awe I felt seeing those dinosaurs come to life on the big screen. It motivated me to read my first novel by Michael Crichton, may he rest in peace. That lead to discovering an author who inspired me to think big and aspire to write my own exciting tales of technology gone astray.

Well now I'm 31 years old, and Jurassic Park is back on the big screen in 3D. When I first heard the news of it's re-release I was more excited to see it on the big screen again then I was in the 3D conversion. Ever since my teens I've been an enthusiast for the theater experience. 3D has made it easier to explain this to people who don't understand the immersion factor of a theater presentation. Tell someone that if they didn't see Avatar in 3D then they didn't "really" see it, and chances are they'll accept that statement. Hell, they may even agree with you. But offer the same argument for a movie like Dark Knight Rises, and a debate will ensue.

Let's get the 3D conversation over with here. It was very impressive how well they converted it to that presentation. If you're into 3D, I highly recommend it. Ok, now that that's over ...

Here's what is even better about this re-release, they're also showing it remastered in it's original 2D presentation. Now, if you don't care about 3D but would like to see this movie again then PLEASE GO SEE THIS IN 2D!

You may be asking yourself, WHY WOULD I WANT TO PAY TO SEE THIS IN 2D WHEN I CAN SEE IT 3D?

Think about every crappy movie remake you've ever seen. Would you have preferred to have just seen the original on the big screen again instead of the money inspired reproduction? I would. Maybe I'm alone in this, but I would pay good money to see older movies in a theater again. Imagine the statement we could make to Hollywood if the 2D version of the Jurassic Park release made more money than the 3D version?

Maybe then Hollywood would give these classic's another chance on our modern cinema's instead of trying to remake them. These are all rumored remakes in development for 2013-2014 releases ...

• Carrie
• Escape From New York
• Robocop
• Mad Max
• Pet Sematary
• Point Break
• The Crow
• An American Werewolf in London
• Child's Play
• Drop Dead Fred
• The NeverEnding Story
• Overboard
• Highlander

I don't know about you but I'm sick of remakes. Well ... except for Evil Dead. That was pretty awesome, and Carrie does look like it's going to be pretty good. Wait, I'm losing focus here.

I don't want to see a new Escape From New York. I want to see Kurt Russel larger than life again! Here's our chance to show Hollywood that there's money to be made in re-releases. Please, for the love of classic 80's and 90's cinema GO SEE JURASSIC PARK IN 2D!!

Oh, since you've been such a good sport for reading this far here's a classic SCTV clip with John Candy about 3D movies. Enjoy!

Dead By Dawn : A Review of Evil Dead (2013)

Detoxing is a bitch. The body pains and aches for a fix. Your sensitivity of all your senses increase to painful levels. You can hallucinate, seeing movements out of the corner of your peripheral. The woods start to chase you. Dead animals appear around you, and family members begin to lie to you. They say you killed them. They say you're dangerous. You can smell their filthy souls. Dead by dawn ... dead by dawn ... you'll rot in hell you filthy bastards!!

OK, maybe detoxing off drugs isn't exactly like that, but it makes for an interesting metaphor. You certainly battle demons both internal and external. That's exactly what the new heroine of Evil Dead goes through in this 2013 remake of the 1981 original. Mia is a struggling addict who, with the help of her friends,organizes a "cold turkey" getaway at her family's old vacation cabin to get through her detoxing period. It creates for an interesting plot device to motivate the characters to stay at the cabin, despite the odd events that occur around them. They assume most of the hysteria by Mia (Jane Levy) is just manipulation to get back to the city to get high again. Oh how wrong they are ...

Now as far as biased reviews go, I'm a big fan of the original Evil Dead. It's a monument achievement in independent horror films. It launched the careers of both Sam Raimi (Director of the Spider-Man Trilogy) and Bruce Campbell (Burn Notice). For the past 30 years, Evil Dead has set the standard for campy horror movies. Even if you've never seen Evil Dead, chances are you've heard a few of it's hero's one liners.

With a fan base as strong as Evil Dead's, and it's lead actor Bruce Campbell, it's a challenging move to produce a remake with new characters and motivations. When I first read about the new lead character's drug detox plot, I started to lower my expectations. I began to fear for a CGI gore fest. While that could be entertaining, Evil Dead deserves better.

Thankfully Director Fede Alvarez felt the same way. Not only did he recreate many of the classic scares of the original, he did it all without the aid of CGI. As a student of film, you must see this movie to see how well this is done. Certain scenes that I assumed were done with CGI now confound me as to how they were done without it. The soon to be infamous Tongue scene comes to mind here, where the Demon Possesed Mia splits her tongue licking a razor blade.

Alvalrez stayed true to Evil Dead form in other ways besides classic gore techniques. The movie had a great pacing and soundtrack to it. It felt like an Evil Dead movie, and that's not an easy feat. All the little pieces of technical development have to flow together. The writing, while a new original take, had many winks to the classic. Especially in some of it's running gags. My favorite gag was how Mia's brother David (Shiloh Fernandez) always fixed major wounds on people with duct tape. 

The one issue I had during the movie was the lack of an obvious hero. Where is Ash? Is Mia the new Ash? Can't be, since she gets possesed early on. Is it her brother? It seems so until the very end. Before I spoil these questions, let me point out that Ash isn't the obvious hero in the original either. He was a very scarred and unlikely hero until he finally cut up his girlfriend to bits and started carrying around a chainsaw.

* Spoiler Alert!! *

In retrospect, the hero of the film should have been obvious considering the show stealing performances of it's star. Jane Levy lead this movie forward like a rock star! It's hard to believe she had never seen Evil Dead until after she got the part. I can understand why she would want this role without prior knowledge of the series. Mia is such an entertainingly diverse character. Levy got to be a loving sister, a struggling drug addict, a frightened woman, a possessed killer, a taunting demon, and in the movie's epic finale she gets to pick up a chainsaw and kick some undead ass. She even gets to drop a few demon killing one liners then. Best part of the movie is how she loses her hand. Sorry Ash, but Mia just outclassed you.

While a movie like Evil Dead isn't for everyone, I do highly recommend it. It's a reminder of what can be done without CGI effects. It's a resurrection of the fun of a campy horror film done right. For women, I also point out the achievements of Jane Levy. As an actress, Levy brings Mia to the levels of Sigourney Weaver's Ripley. She just flat out kicks ass! 

For the sake of your soul, which smells filthy by the way, go see it!

Painter's Stroke: A Commentary on Meridian II

"Even peace may be purchased at too high a price." 

Benjamin Franklin

Meridian II delivers an epic musical journey reminiscent of classic progressive-rock albums. It's the second act of a four album wide concept piece written and produced by Phavian. The first act, Meridian I, tells the story of man driven by visions to create a kingdom of peace. His words and deeds gather many to him, yet he notices a dark figure scurrying in the depths of the crowd. At the peak of his vision's fulfillment, the populace revolts against him and his ideas. In Meridian II, we find our hero downtrodden but not wholly defeated. His devotion to bringing peace to the land nears madness as he begins to consult with an ancient force. Invigorated by this power, he works to create a medicine to cure the world's disease of violence and anger.

"Our hero is seemingly on the cusp of realizing his dream but what he does not realize is the true power of the force he has summoned, and that it has its own designs for the fate of humanity."

Opening with the acoustic Adam's Ale and ending with the brooding narrative of Fall of Crour, Meridian II is a musical tour de force. I could ramble on and on about the musicianship of this band. The visually poetic lyrics, their singer's operatic vocals, the eclectic guitar work, and their superbly syncopated rhythm section all combine for a band that a progressive rock nerd like myself can't help but love. With the release of this latest album, Phavian is beginning to get the recognition they deserve. Plenty of great reviews about Meridian II have already been written. Here's one I particularly agree with at Brutalism.

What I want to write about here is how Phavian forms a cohesive unit of musical storytelling. I believe these albums could be the soundtrack of a successful Broadway musical. All you'd have to do is cast and script a little drama between the songs, and you'd have a hit play. While knowledge of the undercurrent plot isn't essential to enjoying the music, it does immensely enhance the experience.

Let me share my first week with this album.

My first listen to Meridian II followed a year of personal anticipation. In many ways, Meridian I was my soundtrack for 2012. That much intense contemplation for a sequel could only set one up for disappointment. When my ears finally met with the opening song, Adam's Ale, I thought "What in the hell is this?". It sounded like gypsy campfire music! I wanted instant metal gratification! The following song, Purl (now one of my favorites), started to satisfy my cravings but it still felt slow and drawn out. This wasn't what I expected. Yes it was good, and in some ways darker, but not the Phavian I thought I knew.

Let me interrupt with a simile.

When The Empire Strikes Back was released in 1980, it was met with mixed reviews. Many critics and fans alike didn't appreciate the change of tone in it's storytelling. The revelations of Luke's father, one of it's hero's ending up frozen, and the empire earning a winning position at the end of the film was unpleasant for audiences. What they didn't realize at the time was that they had not seen a single movie, but the second act of a trilogy. An second act that was meant to set up for the return and triumph of the hero in the finale. Once Return of the Jedi came out in 1983, the full story was revealed. Critics not only became more comfortable with Empire's tale, but most turned around to declare it as the best of the trilogy.

Once I remembered that Meridian II was the second act of a story, I began to enjoy it as much as The Empire Strikes Back. I read it's Synopsis, and listened to the music with the lyrics beside me. My experience changed, and I began to see and feel the scenes the band describes on their website.

It was then that I understood the album's Celtic beginning, as it sets the mood of narrative ...

"a small child peers into the windows of a broken and decrepit home. She sees a man there, only a shadow that moves behind the backlit curtains and stirs beyond the crumbling walls. Our protagonist, disgraced and thrown from power, now sits in silence."

Remembering how Meridian I ends with the piano solo of Obsidian, I realized how Adam's Ale makes for a smooth transition between Meridian I and II.

I began to recognize the musical cues to Asteroth (again, please read the Synopsis) in both Purl and Hexenring. Our hero plots and begins to unleash his "healing" medicine upon the world, not realizing the power he summons was actually using him.

Painter’s stroke,
stroke of an artist
I am the hand, you the brush.

Listening to Meridian I again, similar cues are in there hinting at the dark power trailing the protagonist. I even wrote about it in my review unaware how close to the truth I was.

"Before I knew it, I had gained the power of voice over many. Yet, there was a constant shadow growing underneath it all. A shadow growing into disdain, anger and finally violence."

During Asteroth's dramatic appearance in Watersong and Fall of Cruor, the music helped me imagine the horrific imagery of his unveiling.

Image from Disney's Fantasia

Sharp, jagged nimbus –
A crown for its head.
Dark the cumulus
That's worn on its cold shoulders,
Cloaking it in purple power.

While I'm not the most experienced music critic out there, I've never had an experience in musical storytelling as I did with the end of this album. Humanity, including our hero, has been extinguished, and now I'm left dying to know what happens next? I would have believed this was the end if not for my prior knowledge of the remaining two albums.

Once the entire four album set has been released, I think we'll look back on Meridian II as the Empire Strikes Back of progressive metal albums.

Clever Chaos We Create - A Review of Phavian's Meridian I

I had a wild dream last night. I became motivated by visions of grandeur, convinced that I could lead humanity to a state of peace, calm and happiness. I became obsessed with bringing it to fruition. I traveled from town to town, spreading word of my vision to all whom would hear it. Eventually, the numbers of willing listeners grew. Even sooner, those evolved into ones willing to follow. Before I knew it, I had gained the power of voice over many. Yet, there was a constant shadow growing underneath it all. A shadow growing into disdain, anger and finally violence.

I lost control; fleeing into my own darkness …

Oh wait, that wasn’t a dream. It was Phavian’s new album, Meridian I.

Meridian I, the first of a four album wide concept, is the second album to be independently produced by this progressive metal quintet. While their music is primarily powered by a heavy metal guitar duo, it’s melismatic vocals and dynamic rhythm section combine for a provocative, organic sound.

Clocking at about 38 minutes, Meridian I features six songs, each a musical expression of the story I described earlier.

          1 Slate (5:28)

          2 Cobalt and Crimson (8:14)

          3 Stil de Grain (5:12)

          4 Tyrian (10:01)

          5 Feldgrau (5:36)

          6 Obsidian (2:58) 

Opening with the rifftastic Slate, Puyan Hassani’s guitar kicks the front door wide open with technical shredding that teases of his performances due ahead. Representing what I believe is the protagonist's guiding dream, we awaken from Slate into my current favorite song.

Cobalt and Crimson starts out smoothly with the introduction of Elizabeth Matson’s melodic vocals. Soon we’re guided smoothly through time signature changes by the meticulous percussion of Patrick Hassani. The band displays their talent for symphonic performance as they decrescendo into a beautiful acoustic mid-section accompanied by a superb bass line from Jason Lobell. Just as your ears are slipping into comfort, they’re accosted by a wall of dissident chords and vocals that catapult the track to it’s rocking conclusion. My only complaint is it ends on a fade out (while my ears cry out for more of Hassani's lead guitar). I can only imagine how this ending could sound in a live performance.

The whole album flows well into each new piece of music. Even the end of the album repeating back to the beginning seemed smooth. I wonder how this will all tie in to movements and medleys in the future releases.

I could go on but I don’t want to spoil it for you. You’ll just have to enjoy it for yourself. So if my complimentary prose here hasn’t convinced you to get Meridian I (if you pre-order it before Halloween you can get a limited edition T-Shirt), Phavian has a free demo album out called Foreword that previews a song from each of the forthcoming albums. Download it here.

Merdian I comes out October 31st. Order it here.

Ostrich Mount's and Light Cycles: My Day at the 1UP

Back in the 80's, there was a magical place called the arcade. Most towns had one. Some were attached to a bowling alley, or an ice skating rink, and others were stand alone arcades with a soda pop stand. Their reign dwindled after the coming of the home gaming system, like the Nintendo and Sega entertainment systems. Once we reached the end of the 90's, when home gaming became as good if not better than most arcades, game developers stopped focusing on arcade machines to develop just for the Xbox and PlayStation systems. The arcade was a thing of the past.

But I've recently discovered that arcades are still around, some in the form of Adult Arcades. These arcades are made by and for people of my generation to reexperience that nostalgic experience. No longer are they soda pop stands, but full on bars. Here in Denver we have the renowned 1UP, a 21 and up adult arcade stocked with nothing but the original machines of the last century. Donkey Kong, Galaga, Pacman, Tron, TMNT, Joust, Paperboy, and Mario Bros are just a sampling of the machines they feature.

I thought I had played all these games before. As a kid of the 80's, I had every one of those titles on either my Atari or my Nintendo. Surely the Atari version holds up to the arcade experience, right?

How wrong was I.

Besides generally having better graphics, I discovered some games had cut scenes not included in the home versions. Many games performed better. The obvious difference being in the controls. Driving games had the steering wheels, or Paper Boy had the bike handles. Marble madness had the spin ball. My favorite new experience of an old game was found in Tron.

Tron, first off, is just a cool looking machine. It glows neon from all its angles. The controls glow in bright blue with a joystick and a spinning knob. While the game itself is challenging, I found the controls fun and easy to use. Well, easier than the keyboard version I knew growing up playing Tron on the Commodore. Now I get it. This is how this game was meant to be played.

I had this sort of "ah ha" moment on all these games. This is how the designers meant for us to experience them. I can only describe this feeling as how it felt to see Star Wars in a theater for the first time.

If you're a gamer like me, and live in Denver I highly recommend a visit to 1UP simply to educate yourself on the historical arcade experience. All the games there still only cost a quarter a play. I spent three hours there today, and I only spent four dollars on the games. Also, I only got a high score on Galaga of 75,300 which I am determined to beat on my next visit.

Making Math Rock Accessible: A Review of TTNG's 13.0.0.0.0

Approachable is a word I rarely use to describe a math rock band like TTNG, but here we are. TTNG's music is a gentle mix of soulful light-rock tones with high-velocity guitar picking and uncommon time signatures. Their new album, 13.0.0.0.0, metaphorically holds your hand while it eases you into their mathematical technicality.

TTNG, originally This Town Needs Guns, formed their initial quad ensemble in 2004. Hailing from the British town of Oxford, the band took on the name This Town Needs Guns in an attempt to be ironic, as not even the police were allowed to carry guns there. Following the release of 13.0.0.0.0, the band officially changed their name to TTNG due to their growing international appeal.

In a statement from their website, "However, eight years on, things have changed. With our music now finding new cultures, the irony of the name is no longer implicit. Also, in light of the controversy over gun ownership in the US as well as tragic shootings there and elsewhere in the world, we want to distance ourselves from a band name which we are now uncomfortable with."

It is indeed a new era for TTNG, as the Mayan calendar reference of the album cover expresses. TTNG is now a three member band consisting of original guitarist Tim Collis, Chris Collis on drums, and Henry Tremain as their new lead vocalist and Bassist/Guitarist. I recently discovered TTNG with the purchase of 13.0.0.0.0, so I can only provide a virgin impression of the current lineup here.

13.0.0.0.0 does a fantastic job of giving math rock a pop rock approachability, namely due to the smooth overtones of Tremain's singing. The album also has a complimentary kind of give and take order to it's songs. They introduce themselves with approachable rhythms, followed by a testing of your ears with musical technicality, and just as it all starts to get "weird" they reward you with a soft ballad.

The first lure of 13.0.0.0.0 is the single worthy "Cat Fantastic". This song has a great lightheartedness to it, despite the intricate guitar work underlying the verses and the odd time signature their drummer effortlessly works in. Seriously, could someone please tell me what time signature this song is in? I tried counting along, and I can't figure it out.

What follows is the first challenging listen of the album, the enigmatic "Havoc in the Forum". It's opening guitar work seems sporadic, until the drums come in to show you where the beat is at. It builds up to it's chorus, which in my opinion is still part of a build up to the real payoff of the bridge section at two minutes in. I struggle to describe music with words, but the syncopated riffs at the end of the bridge are stellar.

The album charges on to change it's direction and tone with "2 Birds, 1 Stone and an Empty Stomach". I'm a big believer in the "it's not how much you play, but when you choose not to play" concept in determining the musical maturity of a musician. Tim Collis proves his maturity here in how slow and smoothly he delivers on this acoustic ballad. This song, as well as it's surrounding "I'll Take the Minute Snake" and "Nice Riff Clichard", help break the building monotony of Tim Collis's fast-paced guitar picking. So many notes in such a short amount of time can wear a listener out, and the album gives its audience a soothing intermission before it picks back up with "Triptych", "A Different Kind of Tall(Small)", and my favorite piece off the album "+3 Awesomeness Repels Water".

It's a solid formula of invite, intrigue, and then reward. As a fan of math rock, I enjoyed 13.0.0.0.0 for it's entirety. For new listeners to the genre, I whole-heartily recommend TTNG as your first venture into this rewarding world of triplets, scale modes, and time changes. Your musical enjoyment and understanding can only grow from here.



TTNG's Official Website
Purchase 13.0.0.0.0 from Sargent House
Purchase 13.0.0.0.0 on iTunes